day 2

More and more small, magical moments are humming around me.  They are so ethereal that I have to either stop and close my eyes or take a big breath of life.  It positively makes me feel alive.  Like an actual part of creation, not like I'm just another human existing.  I feel a part of everywhere, I feel airy and free.  We all know everyone has different ways of feeling connected and grounded, whether it's through family and friends, love, being one with mother nature or working out.  We all have those same feelings that resonate through us, that we just can't explain with words, like its truly indescribable, like you live in another land and no one else is seeing what you see.  I've recently had moments just like that and I'd love to share with you my sense of enchantment.

Today, driving down Connaught, bunches of small, blond coloured leaves were falling from the canopy of trees and being swept up from the ground as the car's speed stirred them around.  They flowed over the windshield and the roof and fluttered so quickly it almost looked like their veins were threaded with gold.  They flickered so brilliantly in the sun I was sure that they were.  I could see down the continuous arbour, the clusters lofting so loosely, it was dreamlike or a motion picture.  I imagined myself strolling through with my arms spread to my side, while a dulcet like folk song plays in my head.  Without even walking through it I could feel the breeze and the deeper breathes of air.  It was a Fall like moment but the Summer aura brought me back.

When waking up, the days you don't have to jump, the ones where you can lay and listen to the day breaking chips.  Those are the my favourite, as I'm sure they are everyone's.  No alarm, just the natural wake of the daylight that gleams through the slivered blinds.  That hit my right cheek and my slightly closed lid.  I think about it before rolling over, "do I wanna get up now or sleep until noon?"  I coil up and then quickly stretch out.  I curve my body towards the window light and warm, glowing beams diffuse across my freckled face.  I start to smile, thinking how fortunate I am to sleep in this sack with my vintage quilt and foamy pillow.  I know it will be another happy day!

I've been taking notice and writing down these moments.  Looking back you will see how grateful and fortunate you are to have had such real times.  I challenge you to start grasping these small tokens because in the end these will be the most appreciated and memorable.  I am confident that you will see the value and connection within your own life by doing so.  I would love to hear about the special ticks of time you may have had by leaving a comment below.

Peace and love, friends

day 1

Inspired by #100happydays, I've continued my campaign of happiness to provoke others to become one with their own. This adventure I launched to become happy again, meant I truly needed to be ... Be awake, be aware, be mindful, be positive.  I needed to change something within myself if I wanted to develop a happy life.  And so here I am, after 100 days of bliss and I'd like to share where it all began.  (I'm quite the talker so I'll keep it brief)

In April 2013 I competed in my first figure competition and I had this skewed vision that if I had abs, nice shoulders and I compete then the happiness I was seeking would appear.  Enlightening experience, met great people and I know more about myself now but, it definitely isn't for me.  Once the big day was done, all the treats were eaten and the adrenaline had descended; I gained 27 pounds, fell into a deep burrow of depression and anxiety, hated my existence and created an unhealthy relationship with food.  I ate to heal my sadness and anger, I ate because it was my comfort, I ate because I felt like I might never eat again.  As this unhealthy behaviour took over, I suddenly realized that this had turned into a binge eating disorder.  This was the root of all my underlining obstacles and it wasn't the only struggle I needed to remedy.

February of this year, I decided it was best to leave my job.  My depression and anxiety became a severity and knew it was time.  I was sick of feeling sick and sick of feeling poisoned.  Coincidently, a friend of mine was going on vacation with her family, just as I was leaving my job. She had asked me to stay at her cottage like, beach home to house/dog sit for one month. I knew this alignment was happening for a reason, this was meant to be! Knowing that this was the best break for me mentally, I was quick to say yes. The beach healed my soul and my animal companion gave me strength to feel.  I started feeling whole again.  

During my stay, I came across the #100happydays project. What the heck, I had nothing to lose!  But I did lose something; I lost my sadness and anger, I lost the need to compare, I lost jealousy, I lost the hate and pity for myself.    Things were turning around!!!  I made an effort everyday to find the positive moments, to see through all the bullshit, see the good in everything, sent out positive vibes for my inner intentions.  Happiness wasn't a desire anymore, it was my reality.  It was all very simple, stop seeking and just be ...