I pay thanks to 100 happy days for healing me. It was a combination of that, changing the way I think and, how I saw and spoke to myself that shaped me into the inspiring, happy and lovable person I am today. I was angry and cruel to myself, I always spoke harsh words about my character and I consistently compared myself to others. Throughout my life I have had self/body image issues and more than ever they were revealing themselves. My self/body perception had been so skewed and because of this and my poor competition diet, I developed a binge eating disorder. I am fortunate to have friends and family that knew almost before I did, that I needed help. They lovingly pushed me into group therapy, to take time off work and strive for self appreciation. I am so thankful for the great group of friends I met that have struggled with depression, anxiety, self/body image battles and unhealthy eating habits. Because of them, I knew someone understood me. The well-versed, creative social workers, with their own experiences, formed and led our group meetings and with their help, I was guided to a healthier position within myself. To any of you reading that may be fighting the same wars, I'd like to share with you the practices I used to harmonize my soul and to possibly inspire and help you on your path of healing.
To start, the balance of building a positive attitude, focusing on being grateful by starting a gratitude journal (which then moved into 100 happy days), doing more kind things for myself and replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, were my remedies to mending. Every Tuesday I met with my group, we focused on how the prior week went to ensure we weren't living in the past. If I were still living in my past I would be holding anger and hate towards myself but mainly towards certain people. I blamed others for why I was feeling all this pain rather than taking responsibility for my own actions and thoughts. So the first thing I did was forgive. Forgave the people who hurt me and forgave myself for not being perfect. This lifted a heavy weight and I felt freer. Forgiving allowed for some of my anxiety to die away and I could instantly breathe deeper (if any of you suffer from anxiety, you know that feeling of panic). I then began to accept that I was led exactly to where I needed to be and confident that the Universe had guided me on that path with a much bigger road map planned. It makes much more sense to live in the present tense, so forgiving and stepping out of the past were two major impressions on my progress.
Second, I actively sought out in my daily life all things to be grateful for. I wrote down 3-5 grateful moments (big or small) in my gratitude journal a couple times a week. That way I wasn't writing down the same things everyday. Being a photographer and creative individual, I started taking pictures of my gratefulness. I found that sharing this with social media made me even more grateful for all those who I have inspired to create happiness within their own lives. I was driven and motivated to motivate others. This practice of being grateful, thankful and seeing fortune has benefited my overall health. I sleep better, I am more joyous and optimistic, I am less lonely and more forgiving. Creating this gratitude photo album has led me to improve my self/body image as well. So what I did were things that were wondrous for my self-esteem and self-image. Although I was not working, I would shower, shave, do my hair, put on a little bit of make-up and do my nails, even if I was just sitting around. This daily routine anchored me to a more positive ground. I also started doing things that I was procrastinating, the less that was on my plate the less stress, and the happier I felt. I am much stronger and have finer tools now to cope with stressful situations that may lead me to binge. A couple other great tips for self-image improvement I must mention, are to explore new avenues and try new things. Sometimes being stuck in a rut requires you to step outside the box. This made me feel empowered and confident that I could do things on my own. Another powerful tool is to take a self-appreacation break. Just a few minutes of self-reflection will boost your appreciation for what you have to offer.
Third, I stopped weighing myself!!! I slid that scale right under my bed and haven't stepped on it in months. Weighing myself daily was doing more harm than good. I based my self-worth on that number, the higher the number the more worthless I was. There is no actual need to have an at home scale, I let my doctor keep up with any weight changes. Counting calories goes hand in hand with someone who is completely obsessed with their weight, so I quit counting calories in and out, weighing my food and exercised less to give myself a much needed break from all the pressure. Now I worry less about my weight and just commit to a balanced, healthy and active lifestyle. And finally, a major self-improvemnt skill I have come to love are positive affirmations and the usefulness of positive self-talk.
-I am able to accept my imperfections.
-I am a good person.
-I am inspiring, special and worthy.
-I deserve to fulfill my destiny.
-I am exactly where I need to be.
-Things always work out in the end.
-The Universe fulfils my every desire.
-I am always in harmony with the Universe.
-The Universe assists me as I move forward.
-Life is not an emergency.
-At this moment I have all that I need.
-I am right here.
-My life has purpose.
These are some of my favourite affirmations. Whenever I had or still have moments of self doubt or weakness I affirm myself. This keeps my mind clear of any unwanted garbage talk and from my experience this practice has awaken me spirituality and has given me a better quality of living. I have come to appreciate more of my mistakes and experiences because without them I wouldn't have found this enlightening maturity within myself. I am my own best supporter and I deserve to nurture myself with peace, love and happiness. I am more than my eating disorder and I am certain that I am no longer a compulsive overeater. I am love, courage, strength and present.
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